Adulting · Life · Parenting

Failure

I feel like a total failure…

You see my DD came home today with an assignment to write about a role model from her family. I was honestly secretly wishing it was me. Then I saw the questions she has to fill out: the person’s gifts/talents, the person’s accomplishments…

And I half joked to my husband, I don’t think DD should choose me, what talents or accomplishments do a stay at home mom like me have? He said: maybe how fast you can finish a McDonalds large fries haha..

I get that it’s a joke, and I get that I was asking the question while laughing so he didn’t know the insecurities behind that question, but it honestly got to me.

What did I accomplish in the last 10 years?

How many projects did I try to start and never actually finished?

Wanted to lose weight? Nope didn’t, gave up and made a Nutella sandwich instead.

Joined a gym? Went 3 times only.

I don’t even remember how many business plans I thought of and wrote down but never did anything about or saw anything through.

Started a blog? Don’t remember the last time I posted.

Started a journey to read a 100 books? Couldn’t even reach number 20 and I love reading books!

Today is just one of those days ..

Hopefully tomorrow I can see my 4 kids smiling faces and know what I accomplished

Hopefully, when I see my son’s teacher and when she tells me how polite and nice and helpful he is I know what I accomplished

Hopefully, when I see my oldest daughter, who turned into a beautiful young lady, reading quietly in her reading spot I know what I accomplished

Hopefully, when I see how articulate and smart my two year old daughter is I know what I accomplished

Hopefully, when I see my healthy baby crawling all around and laughing .. I will know what I accomplished

But not tonight .. tonight I will allow myself to mourn all those unfished business .. all the times I said I can when obviously I couldn’t ..

Tonight .. I feel like a complete and utter failure..

School

Our School System has to Change!

Amazing video that all must see.

Whats going on in schools is crazy!

I have two kids in school, with two different temperaments and two different abilities. They are expected to take the same exams at a certain age and get it right .. or what? They are .. inadequate? Special needs? Or just unworthy?

Everyone reaches goals and milestones at different times, when they are ready. That’s why we don’t expect all babies to flip by 4 months and walk by 1 year.

People don’t say things like: “he didn’t achieve the required ability” if a kid doesn’t walk by 1 year. Then why do it to an 8 or 10 year old?

Hope the world wakes up and creates “a world where fish are no longer required to climb trees.”

Till then, i will always tell my kids they are good enough, no matter what their scores on a test says.

Challenge · Reading

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 3

I was tagged by an amazing book blogger, Abhinav’s Reads, to do the 3 day 3 quotes challenge. Go check out his blog, it’s wonderful!

Again, as with my first quote, my selection will come from the 100 books everyone should read.

My third and final quote comes from book # 100 from the list: Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien.

Some believe that it is great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what i’ve found. I found it is the small things. Everyday deeds by ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay.

Be the change you want to see in the world. If a small hobbit can save a world filled with witches, monsters, and nazguls, we can also cause change and ‘fight evil’.

I nominate:

David Harris

Joyroses13

See Mama Read

to complete this 3 days 3 quotes challenge.

Rules of the challenge:

  • Thank the person who challenged you. Thank you Abhinav!
  • Post one quote each day for three consecutive days.
  • Nominate three new bloggers each day

For more quotes on books I am reading from the Telegraph’s 100 list, please visit my instagram.

Happy reading!

Uncategorized

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 2

I was tagged by an amazing book blogger, Abhinav’s Reads, to do the 3 day 3 quotes challenge. Go check out his blog, it’s wonderful!

Again, as with my first quote, my selection will come from the 100 books everyone should read list.

My second quote comes from book # 97 from the list: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Do you think these ‘small green pieces of paper’ make people happy or miserable? No doubt though, they rule the world.

I nominate:

Pensitivity

justjase79

Dee’s Rad Reads and Reviews

to complete this 3 days 3 quotes challenge.

Rules of the challenge:

  • Thank the person who challenged you. Thank you Abhinav!
  • Post one quote each day for three consecutive days.
  • Nominate three new bloggers each day

For more quotes on books I am reading from the Telegraph’s 100 list, please visit my instagram.

Happy reading!

Challenge · Reading

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 1

I was tagged by an amazing book blogger, Abhinav’s Reads, to do the 3 day 3 quotes challenge. Go check out his blog, it’s wonderful!

As I started this blog documenting my journey reading the 100 books everyone should read, my quotes selection will be from the books i already read from this list.

My first quote comes from book # 94 from the list: Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie, an amazing political statement in my opinion.

… where the truth is what it is instructed to be, reality quite literally ceases to exist …

Hard to distinguish what is ‘fake news’ these days, and what is not.

I nominate:

the Orangutan Librarian

Life of Chaz

My World of Books

to complete this 3 days 3 quotes challenge.

Rules of the challenge:

  • Thank the person who challenged you. Thank you Abhinav!
  • Post one quote each day for three consecutive days.
  • Nominate three new bloggers each day

For more quotes on books I am reading from the Telegraph’s 100 list, please visit my instagram.

Happy reading!

Book Reviews · Reading · Uncategorized

Cold Comfort Farm Book Review (#92)

Book: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons

#92 on the Telegraph’s 100 novels everyone should read.

Grade: C

What is the story about?

The story follows the adventure of Flora Poste, a 19 year old recently orphaned young woman, who decided to go live with her relatives, the Starkadder’s, on Cold Comfort Farm. She quickly took it upon herslef to clean up their gloomy lives and ‘make things right.’

Verdict:

I don’t really know what to make of this book really. Apparently, it is a satire. It is a parody on Jane Austen, D.H. Lawrence, and the Bronte sisters’ work although i can’t really see the connection at all. (I am very familiar with the Bronte sisters and Austen’s work, not so much Lawrence.)

Going through this book, you really do feel like the writer is trying to make a joke, but you don’t really know at who or why you should laugh. So yeah, I don’t get the joke really.

As for the storyline, Flora Poste makes herself out to be the Fairy God Mother of Cold Comfort Farm. She first transforms Elfine into Cinderella, helps Seth be a movie star, and sets everyone in the right direction so they can finally achieve their ‘happily ever after’. Then suddenly, at the end of the book, she remembers that she is only 19 years old and sadly, did not get her happily ever after and calls her lover to come whisk her away to find her own happiness.

I would’ve given this book a D except that it was an easy and pleasant read. So Gibbons’ writing style is the only thing that pushes my rating to a C .. barely though.

————————- Next Read —————————-

#91 on the list: The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shibiku.

This is the 3rd bok on this list that can be used as a weapon as well (1000+ pages). The first I loved and still holds the top ranking of books I read in this list, the second I refused to finish (1001 Arabian Nights) because of its vulgarity and racism, and actually gave it away as I do not want it anywhere in my house.

And this is my thrid. We’ll see how it goes .. though being written 1000 years ago makes me a bit worried lol..

Happy reading!

Book Reviews · Reading

Book: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (#93)

Book: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John le Carre

#93 on the 100 novels everyone should read.

Grade: A

What is the story about?

The story is about the British secret service, called the ‘Circus’ in the novel. There seems to be a mole within the spying agency. George Smiley, a retired member of the circus, was called in to sniff out the spy. But the question remains: “Who can spy on the spies?”

Verdict:

All I knew about this book before picking it up was that it is a British spy novel. I was hoping it to be like a James Bond movie. Turns out, it was much better!

Thinking of spies, you usually think of gun totting action in the dark. But this book was filled with intense psychological action instead of physical.  True, it was a bit confusing at first with all the characters (at one point I thought JP and control were the same person lol) and there was a lot of industry related jargon that some I still don’t know what they are, but the story line was amazingly written and gripping from beginning to end.

John le Carre is a pseudoname to a man who actually worked in this field (spying or intelligence gathering). Only a person who was on the inside can write a story so realistic. It is not one of those: Oh I am a superhero spy that can jump on buildings and walk through walls. It shows the painstaking work that goes with being a spy, the going through numerous files for days on end, cross referencing and trying to find one discrepency to catch a lie.

** mini spoiler **

The book is generally about espionage, trust, and loyalty. There’s a British mole who sold his country and friends out to the Russians. He tried to explain later that he did so on the grounds of morality and principle. Who’s side are you on in the cold war? Who do you want to win which inevitablly means whose ideals do you want to win and want to live under? This British gentlemen chose the East’s ideals, thus betraying his long time coworkers and friends by feeding the opposition with crucial info and busting all the circus’ missions, and by betraying the man who loved him. Which takes us to the next important theme: love.

George Smiley loved his wife dearly. This was his downfall, as Karla (the head of Russian spies) believed. He ordered his mole to court Ann, Smiley’s wife. He said this will distort his image of the mole if he knew his wife loved him. It will also affect him when he knows that everyone around him knows that his wife is sleeping around with his trusted coworker. And it worked.

Then there is the fatherly love that Guillam had towards the mole. He saw him as his mentor and wanted to be just like him. And lastly, there is JP’s love to the mole. The mole recruited JP at Oxford and their relationship is hinted to be a romantic one. JP had a feeling that his lover was the mole and actually tried to warn him before JP went on the mission that was supposed to reveal the mole’s identity.

At the end, the mole was captured. A day or two before he went to Russia, he was found dead on the grounds next to where he was held. Who killed him? It was never stated in the book .. but you get the feeling that JP killed him.

This brings us to the different reactions people have towards betrayal.

His friends and coworkers were visibly shaken, but left knowing their lives will go on. His superior was angry but accepted responsibility and acted accordingly.

As for the people who were in ‘love’, Guillam was physically angry at his paternal idol. He sprang forward at him to show his anger and disdain. He expalined that moment as being “orphaned”. His ‘illusion’ was shattered and he finally had “grown up”.

Then there was JP, who is thought to have cracked his lovers neck for the ultimate betrayal.

Then there is George Smiley, the level headed man who even Karla vouched for his excellence. Smiley accepted the betrayal and waited for his wife’s return, which may be seen as an act of forgiveness in the face of betrayal.

The “last illusion of the illusionless man” Karla has said about Ann’s worth to George.

Is love an illusion, as Karla describes it? If so, how will you behave faced with betrayal by this illusion?

I think my reaction would be closer to George’s, though i know for sure my love is not an ‘illusion’.

———————————————- Next Book —————————————–

My next book is Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons. Goodreads says the book “is a wickedly funny portrait of British rural life” .. The last book i read that portrays British rural life was the most boring book i ever read in my whole entire life (book review here). Here’s to hoping this one is better..

Happy reading!