Parenting

Am I Crazy?

The other day, we had a big family lunch at my mother’s house. My older brother and mother were casually talking about a distant relative who just graduated university.

Bro: I can’t believe how attached he is to his parents. Every time I see him he is either out with them in a coffee shop or out to dinner .. with his parents.

Mom: I find it cute. Not like you when you were his age.

Bro: Oh when I was his age I couldn’t wait to get away from you .. haha. I just wanted to go out with my friends and explore everything.

Mom: Oh don’t remind me! At that time, there were no mobile phones or anything. I had to look for you from one place to the other just to check that you were safe and ok. See these grey hairs? You’re responsible for more than half of them.

Then I started to think. And the more time I spent thinking, the more I panicked. What am I going to do when my son wants to go and “explore everything”?!

My husband also went through crazy teen years. What if its a gene? OH GOD my son must of got the strong gene from both my bro and DH! Yes now they are responsible adults but not when they were 17 .. Noooo they were anything but responsible. Oh God what am I going to do!

We reached home and DH could see there was something troubling me. He asked me what’s wrong and I told him. He looked at me like a crazy person.

DH: You do realize our son is 5 1/2 years old.

Me: Yes I do. Don’t look at me like that. My concerns are legit.

DH: (laughing) Don’t worry, I don’t think there are any drug dealers in the 1st grade.

Me: (thinking of “Bid Daddy” scene where Sandler was questioning kids in the playground)

DH: So forget about it, we will deal with it when the time comes.

But I couldn’t forget about it.

The next day, my son saw me lying down on the couch as I wasn’t feeling very well. He covered me with my favorite blanket and sat on my lap and asked: Are you ok, my love? (yes my 5 year old son melts my heart and calls me his love).

Me: Yes as long as you’re with me I’m ok.

DS: I will always be with you mama don’t worry.

Me: Always remember that. Even when you’re older and have your drivers license ..

I can see my husband staring at me like a crazy person but I ignored ..

Me: and you go out with your friends .. when you see me calling please pick up your phone and just let me know you’re ok and having fun.

DS: Of course mama! If you want me I will tell my friends to go home and take you out to a restaurant instead.

Me: (wishing that statement will still be true when he is 17) I love you so much .. you’re the best boy in the world!

My husband then hands me his phone with a Google search open. It has the numbers of all psychologists and psychiatrists in the region.

I’m not crazy .. Am I?

Parenting · Pregnancy

Summer is Over

Hallelujah!

Some of the moms in our mommy group actually don’t want summer to be over (gasp!) They complain about school drop offs and homework and afterschool activities .. Ohhh not me!

I couldn’t wait till the summer was done … I mean I love spending time with my kids and everything but being their main source of entertainment 24/7 was exhausting…

And that’s another main theme of this summer in particular: exhaustion!

What did I do you might ask?

I did not write one blog post all summer (hi .. miss me?) .. I didn’t read one sentence of any book let alone finish a page. I didn’t even go out on dinner dates with my husband because I was exhausted all the time!

I did though successfully entertain my kids (most of the time) .. stopped them from killing each other (they fight about every single thing) .. took them to swimming lessons (they can both dive in the deep now .. yay!) .. went to morning summer camp, rock climbing, indoor sky diving, a staycation, and so many other things I hope they cherish forever.

But again I was always tired .. all the time. Not normal tired, like hit by a bus tired. So I decided to do a blood test .. maybe my iron levels are low.

Results are in: congratulations! Your iron level is very good .. oh and your pregnant!

Wait .. what?!

How can I be pregnant? I am breastfeeding and I am on the mini pill. I didn’t skip a day and try to take it everyday at the same time. I didn’t even get my period since I gave birth.. how can I be pregnant?

Went to my gyno, she was laughing at how chocked I was. Apparently I was on antibiotics before summer starts and that makes the pill less effective.. especially if it’s the mini pill.

Wait .. come again? I was on antibiotics before summer started.

Yup, you guessed it. I was already 12 weeks pregnant. How can I not know!! It’s not like this is my first. I should’ve known. And I was taking the mini pill the entire time during my baby’s first trimester.. not folic acid, not multivitamins .. the mini pill.

I feel like the worst mom ever! Hope it doesn’t affect my baby. Now I have to wrap my head around having a newborn soon, while my one year old is still sleeping in my bed.

 

Wish me luck .. this is going to be a long year!

Life · Parenting

The Gift of Health

My son was sick for an entire month.

 He had a stubborn fever that would not go away. At the beginning, he had a bit of a cough and runny nose, but after that, he didn’t show any other symptom except for the fever.

 After the second course of antibiotics, the fever came back and his pediatrician said we should do a blood test just to make sure, so we can rule out the “big and bad” diseases.

 After the torture of taking blood from a child and tears from both of us, we went to the Doc’s office to double check everything. Throat, ears are ok .. chest ok .. bodily functions ok .. no rashes .. no inflamed nodes.

“So, Doc, why this fever without any symptoms?”

“Well, the symptoms can be inside and we can’t see them. That’s why we did a blood test so it can tell us if there is anything going on that we can’t see.”

“What are these ‘big and bad’ diseases we want to rule out?”

I regretted asking the question the moment he started to answer. After hearing a couple of big names thrown around, I felt like the room was spinning.

The Doc seeing me like that said: You know his chances of getting these things are just like any other healthy kid walking around so don’t worry.

Nope, didn’t really help. I still felt like I wanted to throw up. I think he felt sorry for me and told me to wait here for a sec he will run down to the lab and grab the first numbers, they will give us a better picture.

After what seemed like an eternity, he came back and said: I have good news. His blood count is in the normal range, white blood cells good, no sign of inflammation or bacterial infection. He’s fine, looks like it’s just a stubborn virus. The rest of the results will take at least 3 – 4 hours to come out. You can go home now and I will let you know the rest of the results later. But till now, all the results I can see are great!

I felt like a huge rock was lifted from my chest and I could finally breathe. At that second, I thought about the moms who were in my place and didn’t get the results they wanted to hear. Those moms who couldn’t breathe a sigh of relief and I prayed for them. I still pray for them every day.

I hugged my son so tight and left the hospital.

 Sometimes we forget the important things in life. We worry about grades and homework, money and bills, work and so on and we forget the one most important blessing God gave us: good health.

So thank you God for giving me three healthy babies. Thank you for giving me the strength to raise them. Thank you God for giving me the chance of watching them grow. And thank you God, a million thank you, for making it just a virus and nothing else. You have blessed me with so much already, and I am forever grateful for you love, kindness, and generosity.

I’ll just end this with a prayer to all mom’s out there. Hope whatever is worrying you is just the never ending laundry baskets and bills, and nothing else.

God bless.

Book Reviews · Reading

Book Review: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (#97)

Book: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

#97 on the Telegraph’s 100 novels everyone should read.

Grade: C

What is the story about?

The story is a comedy science fiction. It follows the adventures of Arthur Dent, who is the last surviving human after the destruction of planet earth. The book is the first of a series of five novels.

 Verdict:

I am a bit worried to review this book because of its huge following. But, as always, I will be honest and say truly what I think.

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 Honestly, I am torn. On one hand, the book is very funny in some parts. It makes fun of the political and economic systems, religion, power, money, and so much more in a light and funny manner. Adams also has very clever and witty quotes throughout the book that are pure genius. It’s also important to remember this book was published in 1979, and how this book predicted many of our everyday tech is uncanny. Like the Hitchhiker’s guide itself is a digital book and the computer is touch screen.

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 But… ** SPOILER ALERT **

The storyline is plain ridiculous. A man from England was saved from the Earth’s destruction by a friend of his, who turned out to be an alien. They hitchhiked a ride in a spaceship. Then they were kicked out of it and one second before they die in space, they were picked up by another spaceship, which was stolen by the intergalactic president, who has two heads and three arms btw. The outlaw president wanted to go to a planet which legend says has a lot of money. The planet used to make custom planets for the rich and they are the ones who made Earth. They were commissioned by mice to do it, who btw are running the show on Earth. All this so a clever computer can answer the ultimate question of the universe: What is the point of life?

 So what is the point of life according to the computer? 42.

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 As I said, I am torn. I think I might have to agree with the people who say the Hitchhiker’s Guide is a one liner book. It is full of gems here and there but the middle is not so good.

 On the back cover, the Washington Post Book World calls it “inspired lunacy”. I think it’s more of lunacy with some inspiration scattered through. Sorry Hitchhiker’s Guide fans, this is my honest opinion 🙂

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Next book: 1001 nights. I am actually not really looking forward to it as I am not a fan of short stories, and the book being 960 pages (and it’s only volume I), but I will give it a try. If I like it, I will read the next two volumes. If I don’t, will go to book # 95.

 Happy reading all.

Adulting · Life

Letter to my Mother in Law

Dearest Mother in Law,

 I fell in love with your son more than 10 years ago. Two years later, we got married and I thought I gained another family. How wrong was I!

Where should I start? First, I want you to know that you can’t get to me or bring me down with your cunning malicious words. It didn’t get me down when you called me fat and stupid (yes I can hear you screaming on the other end of the phone). It didn’t get to me when you declared to everyone that I failed at parenting, and my daughter can’t take no for an answer (she was 14 months by the way). It didn’t really bother me when you said I should check my son as you’re sure he has a problem with his brain and development (he too was only 15 months old). And it didn’t really bring me down when you said my baby girl was ugly (just like her mother I’m sure your thinking).

You know why? Do you know why, no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t get me down? Because I have my tribe who make me strong. If you try to push me down once, they will pick me up 10 times.

 My mom (you should really take some pointers from my mom, who is full of grace and elegance and does it so effortlessly) is an angel sent from heavens above. When we were young, our pediatrician recommended that she should go see a psychologist because no one should love their kids this much. And my dad, respect and kindness personified in a man. If I ever have a bad day, just calling him and hearing his voice and laugh makes me forget everything, even if I don’t tell him what is bothering me. And if I do, he reminds me ever so gently how trivial what I am worried about is, and how blessed and loved I am.

My two beautiful and intelligent sisters are always there to hear my crazy rants. And no matter how crazy I sound, or what I say, they never judge or try to “fix” things but are always there to listen, and say what they know will make me feel better. This is my family and no matter what you say, it can’t touch me because they are my shield in life.

 But my heart breaks for the man I love, your son. All he wants and is looking for is acceptance, appreciation, and some love from his first love in life: his mother. I look at my son now and can’t imagine telling him the things that you find easy, and sometimes funny, to say to your son. I pray one day you can see how amazing he is, how hard he tries, how he loves his own kids, and how much he loves you. I pray, with all my heart that if you can’t find it in your heart to be proud of him, just at least to accept him the way he is. And if you can’t see it, I pray that my husband can somehow find a way to be at peace with that, for the sake of his family.

And you know what? I am not the demon or monster you make me out to be (my mom raised me better than that). I am a fun, loving, optimistic person in life who always likes to see the glass half full and enjoys what God blessed me with.

So I won’t hold my husband from coming to visit you like you think (I don’t control my husband or tell him what to do like you think, I treat him like the man that he is). And I won’t keep my kids from visiting either (as long as you don’t spew your negativity on them). And I definitely won’t belittle or talk badly about you in front of my kids. Respect is the foundation for everything in my family and I will never  be disrespectful or teach them to be, even when I am constantly disrespected myself. I am better than that.

Though I thank you for one thing, for never saying these things in front of the kids. To them, you’re the funny grandma, and I hope you will always stay this way. And even though you will never admit it, I know and can see how happy you are of my two older kids (my baby still didn’t make the cut unfortunately), and I know deep down inside, you know how good a job I am doing, towards your son and my kids.

 So I’m writing this to make it official. What happened a couple of days ago was the final straw. God knows I loved you and tried so hard to gain your approval and acceptance. But now I can see, if your own son can’t get it, how can I?

You will always be my children’s grandmother, always welcome at their birthdays and special occasions. You will always be my husband’s mother, always welcome in our home. But you will never be my family, you haven’t earned the right or privilege to be on the same level as my parents.

 I wish you all the best, and hope you can enjoy the things God blessed you with.

 

Respectfully,

Your son’s wife

Crafts · School

How to Preserve your Kids’ School Memories

Now that the school year is about to end (how fast was that!), I always prepare to save and preserve my kids’ school work, pictures, and reports. I might be going a bit overboard, but I have no school memories (maybe a random report card and 2 class photos), and I still lecture my mom about it. Even my yearbooks have been scribbled on. One has stamps on all the kids faces, either a smiley face or a sad face. My picture, at least, got 2 smiley face stamps on it. So I’m happy to be doing this for my kids (I also love pictures and crafts). Hopefully, they will thank me for it one day.

So this is what I do:

1)      Scrapbook:

I use a scrapbook to put in all their pictures (1st day of school, class photo, last day of school .. ), some of their work, and any certificates or notes they got from their teachers. I put the pictures in chronological order from the beginning of the year till the end ( I take lots of pictures, especially at drop off and pick up), making sure to note any significant event they had along with the date.

I use K&Company scrapbook album size 12×12 and so far I love it! The pages are safe in a top loading page protector. It also has screws to unbind the album and add as many more pages as you want. Here are examples of some of my kids’ pages last year.

 

2)      Art work:

I also love to keep my kids artwork. I use ALEX my portfolio. It conveniently has dividers in it which I sue to divide the art work by class years.

 

3)      Picture wall:

I put up my kids class photos on the wall, side by side for each child to see the changes over the years. I also put my son’s picture under my DD’s according to the same class (our school has a two-year kindergarten program).

(And if you’ll ask where am I going to put DD’s grade 3 pic, we will be moving homes after this summer hopefully and have plenty of room till their senior year).

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4)      Report cards:

Each child has their own file to hold their report cards. This is just a normal folder with page protectors in side. This usually stays in my room and I don’t let the kids flip through it.

 

5)      Rest of things:

The rest of the things that I would like to save like books and other papers, I put in a gift box, the largest size I can get. Don’t really know if this method will work the more books they have. Hopefully I can use these gift boxes for a couple of more years.

 

And that’s it! Those are all my kids school memories preserved for me and my kids, easily accessible to them now, and protected for many years to come.

 

Happy end of school year everyone!

Book Reviews · Reading

Book Review: The Home and the World (#98)

Book: The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore

#98 on the Telegraph’s 100 novels everyone should read.

Grade: C

What the story is about?

The book is set in 1908 in one of India’s Maharaja’s estate. There are three main characters: Nikhil (the righteous Maharaja), Bimala (his wife), and Sandip (an outspoken political leader, and Nikhil’s old friend). The book is written in first person as each chapter flips between narrating the perspective and thoughts of each of the three main characters. It is a political tragedy, which sets the political ground and foreshadows the outcome of the partition in 1947.

Verdict?

Honestly, this was a very hard read for me and took me a while to finish, even though it is just 200 pages.

1)      Philosophical writing:

I am honored to read a book written by the man who wrote the Indian national anthem, but I think his writing is above my IQ level. My mommy brain strained to get all the lessons and information given, that I had to reread some passages and sometimes even full pages. I am sure I didn’t get the full meaning of his philosophy, and missed many lessons on the way.

Plus I didn’t really understand the struggle that this book depicts. Bimala was infatuated with Sandip, the strong talking freedom fighter and struggled to balance this feeling with the feelings towards her husband. Apparently, this symbolizes the struggle between the love of Western culture and the revolution against it, hence the name of the book: the home and the world. But I didn’t really understand which character was the ‘home’ and which was the ‘world’. Was Sandip the ‘home’ because he revolted against Western culture and Nikhil the ‘world’ because he embraced it? Or was Sandip the ‘world’ because he emulated Western standards and always read Western books, while Nikhil was ‘home’ because he was the righteous Maharaja who stuck to his roots and his old Indian furniture and refused to change them just to impress foreigners? As I said, I think all this is above my level of reading.

2)      Frustration:

  • Marriage: I remember when I was 15, the movie “Unfaithful” came out. And I remember crying my eyes out. Poor Richard Gere! How could his wife do such a thing?! And I still feel this way. Marriage to me is a sacred thing. And yes of course sometimes it doesn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you should cheat or lie. End it, then move on. This is one reason I was so frustrated while reading this book. Bimala went from worshiping her husband, saying that her true place was at his feet, to being infatuated by Sandip and actually losing respect for her husband because he was level headed and not so rash. No human can possibly offer me, or tell me anything that will diminish my infatuation, love, and respect for my husband, and if I can, I will bend down and take the “dust off his feet.”
  • Why?!? It was such a frustrating two weeks for me. We all got sick, one at a time. Why isn’t the fever going down even after giving the meds? Why is my son sick again after only three days of being ok from his first virus attack? Why does their school field trip that they’ve been waiting for have to be the day they have a fever and feel miserable? Then after their bedtime, I start reading my book and the ‘why’s’ start again. Why Bimala why? Why are you letting this guy break the strongest most sacred bond you have? Why Nikhil are you letting him do it, and allowing him to stay in your house? Why Sandip will you do this to your friend and your country just for selfish personal gains? Why?

 

Now that all the kids are better (its just me left with a fever), hopefully all the frustration is over.. Next book: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Don’t know why but the name reminds me of the Solomon family from 3rd rock from the sun. We’ll see how it goes.